Policy: Shorts' Intros and Credits

Ok...I am guilty of this...nearly every individual and major company does this...and it's time for it to stop. They have this 1 minute intro and then 5 minutes of credits on a 1 - 20 minute video. Now the reasoning behind adding these screens is because shows on TV didn't have filenames and meta tags like files on the computer. Because they weren't on computers, computers at the time were the size of New York and couldn't do much...

So here's a few rules

1. For the intro of any short you can have 1 -2 seconds of the title of the short...no more and nothing else or you are wasting bandwidth and the viewers time.
   
2. Now nobody watches credits....heck the only way that movies in the theaters can get you to watch the credits is by putting bloppers with them or some special extra ending after them and stuff like that. Nobody cares about who all worked themselves to death to make it an awesome video and the few that do...can read the meta tags.
   

So please filmmakers get rid of the intro, get rid of the credits, you are wasting our precious entertainment time with your stupid wrappers.


14 bees were killed in the making of this idea.

Animation Style: Cardboard

So the other day I was sitting in art class (ugh) and we were suppose to be making this 3d name things....which was dumb. So I started playing with the cardboard...and made awesome cardboard people...now everyone has seen claymation and lego shorts and such...how about cardboard shorts? Where everything is made out of cardboard...that'd be sweet...could be like "Ghetto Wars" or something else funny. Would have pics of my people but they were destroyed in the transfer to my house....my backpack doesn't provide very good protection.


4 cardboard people died in the making of this idea.

Website: How Getting a Girl is like getting a Job

ok maybe I am crazy but I think you could make a really funny site on getting a job is like getting a girl. Your apperance is like your application, then you have the first few dates which are like interviews. Then you have benefits, requirements, problems etc. it's all comparble.

3 Snickers were eaten in the making of this idea.

Short: CSI Dinky Creek

Basically a short video of a CSI parody...in which an individual would sit at his desk desperate for a crime to invistagate, the phone would ring but it would be a telamarketer and then a call for a different department. Finally he would get some sort of crime scene to investigate but it will turn out it was simply a cat that broke into a home and took some food or something else stupid.


4 crime shows was laughed at in the making of this idea.

Short: Metric Quest

Basically a short (5-10 minute) long video beginning with the main characters wonder "Does God use the metric system? there would be disagreement amongst them, so they would search for the answer, seeing as most priests would be biased one way or another they try to directly ask God..and the answers they are individualing recieving disagree...so they remember in the bible the story of moses and the who mountain where God lived..and are like hey let's check there....the go and he's not there so they check the post office for change of address frosm and also try to email him...I have no idea what the ending would be.


134 golf balls were picked up in the making of this idea.

Website: Inverse Angle

Someone needs to make a website, with essentially opposites of all of the well know icons...for instance....say have michael jackson only he is a white guy turned black and has a thing for old men. Or say Mario, he could be a skinny bald Russian Electrician, who can't jump and fails to help anyone. Or let's say Mary Poppins, she could be an abusive nanny who children fear to their very bones. Heh....good old Mary


1 bean burrito was eaten in the making of this idea.

Hack: Download from Google Video

Someone needs to figure out how to download video from google video...and then how to get full length videos in under their noses...and then we download movies from google...instead of bit torrent.



5 people saw me talking to myself in the making of this idea.

App: Web Reader

The problem that most of us have with modern web-feed pages is simple...they have to much stuff on them, even if we want to read all of it...we don't know which first or last and other such. So have the computer do it for you via a page or program. Have the page use math to prioritize articles and such in RSS feeds, as well keep a history of that which it was already shown the user, so as to not be repetitive. This would elimantate missing things on feed pages (like google's personalized home...and yahoo's and microsoft's) and no overwhelming....win win...obviously there are freaks out there who can actually glance over the feeds and priotize and choose and read everything they want to....without becoming lost distracted or bored...and they are known as hopeless weirdos. or robots.


5 ice cubes where destroyed in the making of this idea.